Assalamualaikum readers,
I shall start this blog with good warm wishes to everyone in this beautiful world.
HAPPY 2012 TO ALL! I pray that everyone will have a very good year ahead of you. :)
Let me start my post with a quotes found in my phone.
"you don't realize how strong someone is until you seen them at their weakest moment"
~anonymous
I love reading quotes. It somehow motivates me in one way or another. Its applicable in life whenever you happen to face sh*ts or happiness. :) Ok, lets just go straight to blogging. Well, i believe blogging is something personal that most of the bloggers use to let their expressions n feelings out, vent their anger n frustration n most importantly, blog r supposed to be kept away from our loved ones. reason being, so that they can never find out what we actually facing or even feeling. some things in life r just meant to be kept hidden until they find out themselves. thats what i believe.
lets just do some short introduction about myself.
My name: Arifah or u can call me ifah for short.
I am 20 this year. 16th june 1992. the day i was born to this world.
No doubt, a happy cheerful lady. :) Blessed to have beautiful family and friends in life.
Attached. Yup. To Mohd Fazli, dyk for short. We were together since 6th oct 2009. Yes this friday will be our 27th monthsary. :) well, i used to be happy when it comes to dat date every time last time. now? err.. maybe when you already be too long in a relationship, that will happen. :s *gahhhh*
I have my very own reason why i actually just created this blogspot when i already knew it since 2004???
its because i felt nothing beats expressing my feelings to myself n for myself to read. at least i know i let it out n im happy dat way.
firstly, this mind has been thinking too hard i guess. life for me is getting dead n dead as days goes by. i just dunnoe whr to start to pick myself up slowly n independently. y did i said so? its because from the very first moment me n bf met , i threw friends away n dedicate my life fully to him. what do i mean by fully? well, i woke up to him n end my day with him also. i just cant find the answer yet if he is really the one for me. fr nw, firstly, commitment for him to me is not equivalent to the commitments i gave to him. till today , im hurt with the fact that i really think that he is no longer the happiest person with me anymore cause other things r just making him happier den when he is with me. oh and another thing, he is going to be 29 this year. i still cnt figure what he really want to do in life. maybe because he havent tot of getting married or settle down yet? what if i tell him im ready ? hais. i have always wonder, when will i stop all this dikir barat? performances? competitions? responsibility to the team ? n i dnt think he wld think the same way. i think he would want to even die being a legend in the scene. im really sorry bf if i were to say all that but thats what i feel. u dnt wana open ur eyes to reach my heart to feel n see what im really feeling . :(
n my mind got crazy. suddenly, i dnt feel like dating any dikir barat guys anymore. y? reason:
1. life commitments fr them is dikirbarat n their teams.
2. training n training n training
3. when i have competitions too, they wont be there to support me.
4. when it comes to competition time, we wont have time to spare for each other.
thats what i feel but i dont know what others think. maybe different guys behaves differently. :s
my bf is just someone hu is NOT! expressive. doesnt show. refuse to tell the whole world hw much i meant to him. hw much he loves me. n most importantly he dont wana make other girls get jealous of us. haiz. instead, he reacted opposite ways. i remember clearly dear, i cn never forget how shitty u treated me behind my back. actually im quite tawar hati with you already but i sabar aje. i believe life have to go on. i will just end my post here today. get back to you soon. ;)
i miss this guy here, real badly.anyone pls tell him that for me. :(
signing off,
arfa Garcia
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